Friday 7 October 2011

Who will hear my cry?

Who will hear my cry?

Little girl with a heart that is broken
Holding it together and no words are spoken
Mislabelled and misunderstood
No one knows what's going on in her hood
Dealing with the separation of mommy and daddy
Addition and subtraction seem so petty
No one to talk to
Who will see her point of view
There's more to this child
Beyond her forced smile
Did anyone bother
to ask her mother
Has something changed ?
Is everything ok ?
That just didn't happen back in the day
Her struggles would haunt her for many years
Fueled by anger, frustration, and fears
Determined to be more than what you see
Her purpose is clear
That little girl is free
Free to move on and get educated
To be the voice for the next generation
Of mislabelled  boys and girls
She will be the light in their darkened world
A voice of encouragement and nurturing too
She will embrace them in ALL they go through
Developing trust through test after test
She molds them and helps them to do their best
And see the endless things they can do
When she understands them and the trials they go through
A voice of reason, a cheerleader too
cheering them on
Helping them through
Many of them have graduated
And are college educated
Willing and ready to show the world
When you help the mislabelled boys and girls
They can have a brighter future
They just need to be nurtured


This is dedicated to my SHERO Shawnette Anderson DeRosa para-educator in the Bermuda Public School.
I have seen you go through many trials and triumphs and tears of frustration and pride. You are on the right path, you are and will continue to be a GREAT educator. The students that you have and will continue to embrace, nurture and encourage are blessed. Thank you for inspiring me.


Thank you to all the PARA-EDUCATORS, who in my opinion are the UNSUNG heroes, because of you children have an advocate and extra support, YOU ARE VALUABLE and APPRECIATED. THANK YOU!!!!

Sunday 11 September 2011

As we reflect on 9/11/01

On September 11, 2001 I was at home preparing to go to school (Bermuda College). I had the morning off so I was at home watching Ananda Lewis and the station she was on started to freeze. I decided to turn to the TODAY Show, and that's when I saw it happen. I witnessed the second plane hit the towers, my jaw dropped, I couldn't believe what I had just seen. "What the hell is going on" I heard Katie Couric asked as she too witnessed. I will never forget it. Many lives were changed that day. It is so hard to believe it has been 10 years. I wish peace to those who lost loved ones and who's lives will never be the same. May we all try to honor and love one another more, life is too short, no one is promised tomorrow.
Dawnette Belton  9/11/11


                                                 IN TIMES OF GRIEF

In honor and memory of those lost this fateful day on September 11, 2001;
and for all of us who lost pieces of ourselves and whose lives will never be the same,
we offer this prayer:

Dear God:

You promised me that your comfort would come to me in times of despair.

You promised me that if I would lean on you and call on you, I would find peace.

I come to you now filled with grief and despair at the loss of ____________________ (state the name of the person or the situation).

I am leaning on you for strength.

I am calling on you for understanding.

I am reaching out to your for comfort.

I am depending on you to help me learn how to accept the loss.

Help me, Holy Spirit.

Guide me, Holy Spirit.

Comfort me, Holy Spirit.

Give me peace.  Give me peace.  Give me peace.

Leaning on the promises of God, through the power and presence of the Holy Spirit, I am now filled with comfort and peace.

And So It is!

From Every Day I Pray

by Iyanla Vanzant

Sunday 31 July 2011

Outside "THE" Clique

Outside "THE" Clique


Reality check chick
You were always last to be picked
What made you think you were part of THE clique
Seems nothing's changed since your high school days
So stop walkin' around in a haze

Reality check chick
You'll never be the first choice
So stop and listen to your inner voice
The voice that's always true
and an indicator of what you'll go through

Reality check chick
When you put people up high
And make them soar in the sky
Don't be surprised when they walk on by
And never look you in the eye

Reality check chick
Too old to go through this shit
So learn your lesson
And no more guessin'
Cause cliques exists for certain chicks
And you my friend ARE OUTSIDE THE CLIQUE!!!!!

*This note is dedicated to the kids who have ever been teased, bullied, pick last for the team, excluded from the "in" crowd and made to feel like a nonentity, IT GETS BETTER!!!!* When and only when you realize that you are valuable because of who you are, not who you know, what you earn or where you live. Value of self can not be defined by outside influences and "stuff", but by your terms only.*

Monday 18 July 2011

Letter to Dawny 1981

Hi Dawny
I just wanted to let you know that I see you and the pain you're going through. I know it seems unfair, too painful to bear. You're wondering why things are this way and what you have done to deserve such cruelty. It's not your fault baby, it was meant to be. Why you may ask, and how long will this pain last. The answer is, this too shall pass. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. In your life you will  experience joy and pain, life goes on things will change. There will come a time when you'll have to prove you can move on through even more pain. Love and loss of your mother too soon, forced to grow up cause she sheltered you, facing eviction and inner conflict. You will survive cause you didn't quit. Heartbreak and love and meeting your prince. Starting a family and education, finding your voice and celebrating, all that you've been through has made you strong, and loving too.  Please don't worry and be too upset, things will get better so don't you fret. I know all of this cause I've been there too, this I know because I am you..
With Love
Dawnette Belton to Dawnette Anderson

Sunday 17 July 2011

Romance

Waves crashing
Moonlight dancing
Walking hand and hand
Feet covered in sand
Warm summer breeze
Wind in the trees
Whispers in my ear
Gently caressing my hair
Head cocked to the side
He looks deep into my eyes
With that sexy coy smile
The one that drives me wild
I knew he would be mine
Dreamed about him all the time
Now we stand here as one
Watching the morning sun
Hand in hand
Side by side
I am his and he is mine.

Shy girl


Not an athlete
Can't compete
Feels incomplete
They know this
She shows it
They tease her
Are mean to her
She takes it
Her spirit is broken
No words are spoken
Silence is her action
They get satisfaction
By being mean
But not just her peers
Adults take their fare share
Of teasing and name calling
She sits alone bawling
Never feels good enough
She's got to learn to be tough
Mean girls don't get picked on
Every summer she vows
The meanness stops now
And every fall
She tries to stand tall
And face all the meanness
It'll take decades to conquer this
My struggle continues....

"Today I am embracing, protecting and honoring the child that I still am!"~Iyanla Vanzant~ from UNTIL TODAY!

Wednesday 29 June 2011

Mango

Thin layer of skin peeled back to reveal
Layers and layers of sweet nectar with each peel
Full ripe and juicy and ready to savor
Resting on your tongue the sweet flavor
Two hands grasp this juicy delight
Fragrant scent with every bite
and mouthwatering drip
Drips of golden nectar
Sweet with every lick

Tuesday 28 June 2011

I need...

I need to feel your warm presence in my space
The light touch of your hand on my face
The very thought of you makes my heart race
and brings a smile to my face
I need to feel your breath on the back of my neck
Your hand on the small of my back
Soft whispers of your plan of attack
Your love keeps me coming back
I need to feel like I'm the only one for you
It'll show in the things that you do
Your love for me shines through
Every trial that we have gone through
I can't imagine my life without you
I need to feel your arms embrace me
Touch me, kiss me, taste me

Monday 27 June 2011

Sundays

Sunny Sundays
remind me of
Frilly dresses
Tights and hair bows
Patent leather shoes with little gold hearts
Mints and nuts in granny's purse
And walking to church

Sunny Sundays
Remind me of
Uncle Joe
Practical jokes
And Chinese checkers
Giggling and sniggling
And Vanilla soft serve

Sunny Sundays
Remind me of daddy's cornbread
Codfish and potatoes with butter
Sun shining in on the kitchen table
Mommy and daddy under the same roof
And the feeling of family

Sunny Sundays
Remind me of
The innocence of childhood


Saturday 18 June 2011

Rendezvous

Rendezvous

Perfectly shaped lips
Juicy and full
The scent of chocolate
Lawd I can't take it no more
Fire building and building inside
Come here baby let me take a ride
Start real slow
Kissing you from head to toe
Exploring every sweet inch of you
Breath you in when I'm next to you
Heart racing with anticipation
Every touch is a sweet sensation
Let's savor every moment like never before
Just you and me baby to love and adore
Let's set the mood with wine and candles
Music and moonlight is all we need to handle
A perfectly lovely romantic rendezvous
Hours of love just me and you

Forgiveness

Took a journey to the land of my father
First journey was with my mother
Celebrating another Matriarch in the family
Took me on another journey
This time with my father
This was the first time I traveled with him
Back to the land of his birth
What a moving experience
He is 80 years old and we are celebrating his sister's 90th birthday
For the first time I see him as a boy
Looking up to his sister with pride, love and joy
My heart can't contain the emotions I feel
Everything about it seems so surreal
I am aware this is very rare
The presence of those who have passed are near
Generations of family from near and far
Have come to celebrate the lady of the hour
But I can't take my eyes off daddy
Beaming with love, pride and joy
This makes me happy
This celebration means so many things
But for me it means
Letting go of anger, resentment and pain
Looking at him I will never see him the same
Today I was humbled and touched to the core
I harbor anger, resentment and pain no more
You see tomorrow is not promised to us
So letting go of anger, resentment and pain is a must
Today I saw a sparkle in his eyes
Today the spirit of forgiveness resides
Today I not only celebrated 90 years of life
Today I celebrated what it is like
To see a man as a boy humbled and broken
Looking to his sister with love and pride unspoken
I can take a deep breath and let it all go
Tears from the past begin to flow
and wash away all that I held onto
No more anger, resentment and pain we're through

Saturday 30 April 2011

Happy

Today I'm in a good place
Today I have a smile on my face
Today I welcomed passion into my space
Passion for all I hold dear to me
My family and friends
My art and poetry
Today I'm feeling free
Today darkness is no longer with me

Gift

I have a gift that's been given to me
This gift means the world to me
It bears an awesome responsibility
A blessing
A lesson
No time for guessing
I must embrace this gift with haste
There is no more time to waste
Time to pick up the pace
Look my fears in the face
It's my destiny
My trials
My fears
Keep testing me
And testing me
Until I fulfill my destiny

Facade

She tires hiding behind the smile
She tires pretending everything is okay
Darkness is back again
Friends have run away
Why is she here again
She has been a comforter
But there's no one there to comfort her
Tears well up in her eyes
She takes deep breaths
She cries and sighs
Overwhelmed by what needs to be
She wants happiness
The need to feel free
Free of the cross she bears
She has carried it for many years
It hinders her and buries her with fears
She cries out but nobody hears
She's the one that cares
She's the one that shares
But never her fears
Always there for others
Never learned to let others
Be there for her
Say a prayer for her
Prayers are great for her

Sunday 17 April 2011

Voice

I heard someone say
She found her voice today
Got the feeling it wasn't okay

You see she's the one who smiles on the outside
And cries on the inside
Pretends everything is okay

Doesn't like to ruffle others feathers
A people pleaser
But people don't please her

Ever dream?
Ever scream?
Ever scream in your dream?
And never hear your voice?

Now remember how frustrating that was
You had fear
But words you could not hear

This has been her reality
For too many years
Too many tears
Too many fears

Time to stop hiding
Time to stop compromising

You should never dim your light
So others can shine
You should never let others change your spirit
You have a voice
Let the world hear it!


Thursday 14 April 2011

Thank you

Thank you
for
Comfort
Security
Adventure
and not fear
Thank you
for
Showing Me
What love between
Man and wife looks like
It's no longer a fairy tale
This IS real
Love
Respect
Compassion
and Passion
I feel
Safe
Loved
Cherished
Thanks to you
My
Dream
came true.


Monday 11 April 2011

Today I cried...

Today I witnessed GENIUS
Today I felt a connection
through
Color
Emotions
Images
Words
Words so
Powerful
Spiritual
Comforting
Reflective
Sad
Funny
Today I had words
and no words
Today I had laughter
Today I had tears
Today I reached out
and was touched in return by
Light
Love
Creativity
Genius
Today I witnessed the
Joy and
Passion associated with
ART
Today I cried
HAPPY TEARS!

Monday 4 April 2011

First kiss

Her first kiss tasted like warm beer
She liked it
She wanted more
And more she got
But just a kiss
Her virginity was something she was saving
Beer tasting kisses would be the only thing she's craving

Funny thing is this first kiss
came from the guy that teased her in school
makin' fun of the big old gap in her teeth
She retaliated by makin' fun of his big old soup cooling lips
Those same lips that would someday touch hers
With the taste of warm beer
That taste she would crave

Soon an invite to his place would come
No parents just us
This was the moment of truth
Cause she knew what would happen if she
Followed through with his request
The decision was easier to make than she thought
See she had no transportation
And an invitation to "trouble"
Her answer was no
And her future calls to him went unanswered

At least a decade and a half goes by
It's a good thing she said no to his request
Cause now he has been laid to rest
Not natural causes
Or cancer
But H I V
Hmmmmmmm
To think that coulda been me

Sunday 3 April 2011

Crown and glory

The first time I did it I was brave
Kinda cause I could still curl it with heat
The response to my new look was good
Was it good cause I felt good
Was it good cause I looked good
Hmmmmm
Why do I care so much what others think
It's my hair
It's just hair
It'll grow back
Going natural
Embracing my curls
It feels like I'm naked
I did it
Can't be undone
I am amazed by all the energy around it all
So much support
I love it
I feel free and easy
No more fussing
No more primping
Yeah I did it!



Saturday ritual

Sun shining in on red linoleum floors freshly mopped
Chairs seat side down on top of the old kitchen table
Leontyne Price or Jesse Norman in the background
Happiness fills the air
Her Saturday ritual

On top of the high boy an ashtray with remnants of KOOLS or Virginia Slims
Next to the ashtray a glass with  scotch on the rocks
She sings and I feel
Happiness in the air
Her Saturday ritual

Taking refuge behind the walls of her home
Making the best of the little she has
Beautifying her space
She takes pride in her place
I love the smile I see on her face
Happiness is in the air
Her Saturday ritual

Almost forgot this feeling
Until I opened the windows
And felt the fresh morning air
Norman Brown playing in the background
Happiness is in the air
My Saturday morning ritual

Thursday 31 March 2011

WHY

Why am I looking at something I can't have
Why am I torturing myself this way
Drawn like a moth to a flame
A desire never quenched
My apetit for something other than what I have
This seems to be a constant struggle
A reoccurring theme
What does it all mean
What's the lesson in this
Will I ever have pure bliss
Satisfaction with what is in front of me
Not always craving the fruit from another tree
Why is my apetit insatiable
Perhaps these cravings are natural
Hmmmmm food for thought.....

Sunday 27 March 2011

Yesterday

Yesterday I smiled brighter
Yesterday I lived in the moment
Yesterday I was surrounded by love
Yesterday I was surrounded positively
Yesterday sparked my creativity
Yesterday I marked the path to my new reality
Yesterday I saw my dreams come true
Thank you.......

Friday 25 March 2011

Sunshine

Picture the sunniest days
The bluest skies
And the prettiest eyes
A smile as bright as sunshine
With the personality to match
A heart as pure as gold
And all the love your hand and heart can hold
This is Leah
The baby of the Anderson clan
But only biologically
Cause she's always been like a little mommy
To Shawny and Dawny who love and adore her
Even though we came before her
Everyone thought she was older than us
Loves us so much
even when we fuss
Over hair and clothes
And only heaven knows
She's always had her own unique style
Pink mohawk
Combat boots and kilts
And long lean legs like stilts
A vision of beauty
And loveliness
even when her hair is a mess
To have her in your life
You are truly blessed

This is for you sunshine,  my sweet sister Leah Beatrice Mello. You have been through so much in the past few days. Even through adversity you manage to smile. You are a good example of perseverance. May God continue to bless you and give you peace during your time of loss.
                  R.I.P. Baby Hunter Mello <3 <3 <3

Thursday 24 March 2011

I use to

I wanted to be a dancer
I wanted to feel light
I wanted to feel free
I wanted to be a graceful beauty
Sitting for hours in front of the tv
Admiring Debbie Allen's choreography
Wanting to have FAME
Wanting everyone to know my name
Pause play
Pause play
Over and over everyday
Getting those routines down
To afraid to take this path
My body isn't quite right
The inner desire
Doesn't match the outward attire
Legs too short
Thighs too thick
I'm no skinny stick
This dream is too far fetched
So for now
I'll admire from afar
Janet Jackson and Paula Abdul
But in my heart
I'm still a dancer......

I found....

I AM an artist
Searching for my muse
Searching for a way to express myself
Searching for a way to connect to the human spirit
I want my work to evoke emotion
To make an impact
I AM an artist
I pick up my brushes
I stretch my own canvas
I choose my colors
I am drawn to the bright ones
I AM an artist
An emotional creature
Often thinking this is a bad feature
Drowning in overwhelming emotions
Depression and defeat
I often retreat
Leaving my canvas empty
Unfinished
Something I do well
Until
I found my voice
The voice of the little girl inside
Always trying to hide
Afraid of expressing herself
Feeling she's not good enough
She has emerged
She has broken from her shell
She has a voice now
She has seen a light
She has seen her womanly image
She's here now
No more retreating
She finishes
The Art she creates
When she steps to the plate
No paints or brushes
But the same emotions
She has found her voice
She has found another medium
She has found poetry
It has saved her from self destruction
It has united the girl and the woman
Finally
I found.......
MY VOICE!!!!

Sunday 20 March 2011

Tracey

I call her my china and glass sista
The Barbizon School of modeling sista
You know the finer things in life sista
So glad she's in my life sista
My second momma
My protector
My provider
The sista that pinches the face
Of everyone in her space
The sista with every hair in place
The sista with the beautiful face
And her heart is always in the right place
When it comes to the people she loves
She goes above and beyond
Cooking and baking and sharing her food
With everyone in her hood
And damn it's always so good

This is a little something I wrote for my big sister Tracey. Tracey thank you for stepping in and helping mommy when we were little. Thanks for all the hair bows you bought from Woman's shop and all the pretty dresses for Sunday school. Thanks for the ice cream sandwiches from Mr. Twist. I love you forever <3. Asha you are blessed to have her.


Saturday 19 March 2011

The beauty of two....

The beauty of two
in this life together
Me and you fearing the best and worst weather
Joys and pain
Heartache and loss
Giggles and tears
And facing our fears
Falling in love
And separation
Constant struggles towards education
Juggling wife and mommy too
Always thankful I have you
In my corner and ready to attack
Anyone at my back
Sometimes words can't convey
All the emotions I feel some days
I look at you and I'm okay
All my fears fade away
There's a face I see
Looking back at me
It looks familiar
Makes me feel safe
I'm fighting back tears
Cause I can't imagine this place
Without you in my space
Thank you for choosing me
I guess it was our destiny
To be in this life together
The beauty of two....
ME and YOU....

This is for Shawny, my womb mate, BFF, comforter, protector and my soft place to fall. I LOVE YOU FOREVER <3


Thursday 17 March 2011

Missing you....

I quiver as I feel the warmth of your fingertips at the small of my back
You know, that spot that makes me hot
Please don't stop
Please don't stop
Those eyes that pierce the very soul
Those eyes so sexy so bold
Undressing me with every blink
Your coy smile
Your sexy wink
Mmmmm and the smell of lynx
I love the way you nibble my ears
And kiss my neck
And back
Please don't stop
Please don't stop
Got me melting like candy
Got me breathing heavy
Missing you like crazy
Can't wait to see my baby
These arms long to embrace you
These lips long to kiss you
Did I tell you I miss you.....

Spring

The sweet fragrance of freesia blowin' in de air
There's something magical about this time of year
Windows open
Curtains blowin'
Feelin' de breeze blowing on de back of my knees
Barefoot in freshly cut grass
Playin marbles and ace gurl is kickin my ass
Cinnamon and thyme floating in de breeze
Damn I can't wait to greeze
on hot cross buns and fishcakes too
Oh wait don't forget de colored tissue
Time to make a kite and watch it soar high
Amongst many others dotting de sky
Yes oh yes another tradition
Making a kite in de kitchen
Of brown paper bag and fennel sticks
It might fly or take some licks
I love de traditions in BDA
and wouldn't have it any other way.....





Friday 11 March 2011

I love......

The smell of pretzels and subways
The honk of horns this way and that way
Neon lights at Radio City
The tree at the Rock lookin' so pretty
I'm in love with this city
Excited like the first time and feeling giddy
I was four when we first met
That very day I'll never forget
Buildings as tall as can be
These beautiful sites were all sumptin' to see
The towers were twins like Shawny and me
The statue we saw when we traveled by sea
The hotel we stayed at was the Piccadilly
My heart is racing when I think of this place
The thought of it brings a smile to my face
This is my city I'm staking my claim
My love of her is still the same
Thirty six years later and this is my mission
Visiting her will be my tradition
Dates with broadway and MoMA too
Walking up and down the avenues
Feeling free and ready to explore
Taking a trip to the Apple store
And  FAO Schwarz
With little mama
One day I hope to stay at the Plaza
But for now the "Met" will do
No complaints, she's beautiful too...

Tuesday 8 March 2011

Mommy

Statuesque, freckled face
Woman with style and grace
Strong, fearless and bold
Enjoyed the stories she told
Of courting and dating and being in love
now she looks down from above
I often reflect on our time together
Who woulda thought I could never
Go to her with my stories of love
Hold her hand when I'd had enough
This world is crazy
I struggle at times
It's so hard and sometimes I cry
The feeling of emptiness
Without her by my side
Than I stop and pull it together
I look at her and I remember
She had her struggles and I saw her cry
But she never gave up
And worked hard to provide
A beautiful life for her boys and girls
She did it all
She showed us the world
My love of the arts and travel too
I'm living her dream
And she knew
All of her children would be okay
She cleared the path
She paved the way
Like a peacock I'm filled with pride
I have her strength and I will survive

This is dedicated to my Mother
Sylvia Aniece Burgess Place Anderson
Rest in Peace my Beautiful Queen

Monday 7 March 2011

I'm so over.....




I'm so over
side way glances
second guesses
taking chances
blaming myself
for the " handicap"
Why can't we all accept
there is no blueprint with this child
warms my heart to see her smile
or hear her laugh
And watch her dance
And prance
And paint and draw
The joy of learning is what I saw
" I'm not broken"
I heard her say
All the crying I did yesterday
Was it for me?
SHE'S OKAY

March 7th 2011

Sunday 6 March 2011

Silence


Silence
Peaceful tranquil silence
Alone, but not lonely
Able to finish a thought, a sentence without interruption
Working on being the best ME I can be
No guilt
No timetable
No deadline
No rush
Process it all
Silence
Peaceful tranquil silence
Alone, but not lonely
Able to listen to songs of yesterday
Feeling the optimism and excitement of dreams to be conquered
The innocence of childhood
Living in this moment and loving every bit of it
No guilt
No timetable
No deadline
No rush
Process it all
Silence
Peaceful tranquil silence
Alone, but not lonely
Re-charging my battery
Taking time for ME
Able to smile and count my blessings
Not being overwhelmed by what needs to be
You see it's not until you stop to smell the flowers
That you realize this journey in life you chose
Every step and misstep has a purpose
You are here
You have a purpose
You give love
You deserve love
You deserve time for you
Silence
Peaceful tranquil silence
Alone, but not lonely
Able to love ME

Dawnette Belton   Feb. 15th 2011

Rainin'

 
As the rain beats against my window pane I think of you
Is it rainin' outside your window too
Do you have the same hunger as me
Waking at 1 am, 2 am and now 3
Can't get you outta my system or my mind
Thinkin' bout you all the time
It's rainin'  outside my window and I am thinkin'  bout you
Wonderin are you thinkin of me too
Who's holdin' and carassin' and keepin' you warm
Who's shelterin' you from the winter storm
Do you have the same hunger as me at 1 am, 2am and now 3.....

February 25, 2011

Utopia

Smoke filled
Jazz playing
Poetry reading
Den of creativity
A place where I can be Me
Surrounded by like minded people
Looking for my artistic equal
Pretty ones
Funky artsy ones
Bold creative ones
Intellectually stimulating ones
Natural hair wearing ones
Sandal wearing ones
Movie making ones
Music playing ones
Dancing ones
Prancing ones
No sitting on the side line ones
Everyone
Has a role to play
Come with me
Into Utopia...

Dawny B
March 1st 2011